just got home now, my feet are so sore from my pumps. I stacked it in front of a restaurant today and just about all the tables outside started saying “ooooooooooh” and clapping as i walked off, when i returned back they repeated it again and offered me good advice like “don’t trip” thanks random people for having my back…no harm done :)

I have not updated my tumblr in what seems like forever, i forget about you tumblr i honestly don’t care too much about you. I want to remind myself that last year i promised myself and my girls that 2010 would be an eventful year, I think about the promise i made and realize i’ve spent half of this year being sick and the other half thinking of what to do once i stop being sick. I’ve got a few months left of being sick (hopefully, if my immune system soldiers on) i really hope this isin’t long term glandular, the only reason being sick bothers me is because it restricts me from doing so much I want, for e.g signing up for the millitiary and cadet work. 

in other news…

I’m dying to shave all my hair off, except I don’t think I could pull it off. I just love the feel of a shaved head and how little or no maintenance it really needs, but it’s just an emotional impulse cause every time i’ve wanted a change and have acted quickly on it, i’ve regretted it.

i need a change.

I know that spades are the swords of a soldier and I know that clubs are the weapons of war, Diamonds mean money for this art but thats not the shape of my heart

Living in heaven doesnt mean you dont have your fair share of hell.

& I say this for all of us.

all my posts are now going to have a rare tupac photo,  just as rare as he was.

I’m sitting here on the couch alone O’Ding on junkfood,I don’t really feel like doing anything except rambling, I would normally be writting this in my books but i though i’d blog it today cos I feel lazy, nothing new.

I guess I can be hypocritical damn, i always ramble on and on about not getting a facebook cause i wanna keep my life private but here i am sharing my most intimate thoughts & interests on the internet, it feels wrong but I guess it’s just our generation, i mean you can’t really trust anyone else can you? so you sit and you share your feelings on the screen even though nobody is supposed to know it.

Man, I am so on edge lately, i really wish i could relax and fall back but there are so many things i’m afriad of and at the top of that list are diseases & illness. I can’t make my mind whether it’s because I’m afraid of death or ending up in a hospital bed missing out on life, cause it’s not really legal to ask the doctor to inject you with poison if you just want to call it quits. Death hmmm, death doesn’t scare me it’s what happens after i know i haven’t secured a place in heaven yet, i need more time to make it up to God for denying him for so long.. I’m always telling people to be grateful and enjoy life cause it’s not a right to live but whe you really sit down with me i’ll ramble on about war, about how people are the scum of the earth and so forth, 

how can something that is so beautiful to the exterior be filled with such ugly on the interior, that’s the world….that’s how i see it. We have turquiose seas and mountains that could touch the heavens then we have real issues like genocide and it’s all over the same shit day in day out, money, we beg to consume our own deaths. We pay for the products that our killing us slowly, but we don’t know cause we’re all f%%$king ignorant. We support all that shit and we don’t even know it and quite frankly we don’t want to know it cause as humans we don’t even care.  That’s the world we’re living in, so why would anyone be afraid of death?

Sometimes I don’t even know how I put up with me…….

if only i could get some sleep.

I deserve these Michael Jordans.  

In love with Stencil & Street art atm.

these artists to me are like modern day heroes. Not only do they beautify plain streets (even though a bunch of old people will always complain about it and call it “Vandalism”, bite me.) they spread a message and it appeals towards the youth because the youth are these artists’ main audience. The government leaves us voiceless so what other way to express our opinions then write all over walls paid by tax money? It’s worth it, some of you are so brainwashed by media you wouldn’t know any better though…….just saying!

This is REAL art, F*&*K that Mona Lisa BS! (Sorry Davinci) 

“Why am I fighting to live, if I’m just living to fight

Why am I trying to see, when there aint nothing in sight
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try
Why am I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?
someone tell me why” - Tupac

you know what, let’s just make this post a 2pac picture post with quotes.

“When I was alone, and had nothing
I asked for a friend to help me bear the pain
No one came, except God
When I needed a breath to rise, from my sleep
No one could help me.. except God

When all I saw was sadness, and I needed answers
No one heard me, except God
So when I’m asked.. who I give my unconditional love to?
I look for no other name, except God”

“It’s like if you plant something in the concrete and if it grow and the rose petal got all kinda scratches and marks, you ain’t gonna say “damn, look at all the scratches and marks on the rose that grew from the concrete..” you gonna be like “DAMN! a ROSE grew from the CONCRETE?””

“To all the seeds that follow me
protect your essence
Born with less, but you still precious.”